Toy Dolls - Toccata In Dm

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Toy Dolls - I'm A Telly Addict

I don't need a doctor
I don't need a drugstore
I don't need an injection
I need to put the telly on

Songs of Praise, Pakistani plays
I can't control my TV craze

Got me in a cold sweat
I don't need no cigarette
Sh sh sh shaking like a jelly fish
I need a satellite dish

There's no doubt that I miss nowt
A TV I can't do without
Anything you get on yer television set
I'll watch it, watch it, watch it

I'm a telly, I'm a telly, telly I'm addicted
Telly, I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted
I'm a telly, I'm a telly, telly I'm addicted
Telly, I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted

I like to keep a step ahead
A TV in the garden shed
And with a telly in the bog
I never miss the epilogue

Dynasty or Daktari
A broadcast by the Tory party
Celebrity squares, blind date, who cares
I'll watch it, watch it, watch it

I'm a telly, I'm a telly, telly I'm addicted
Telly, I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted

It's no surprise I've got square eyes, anyone could predict
I'm TV mad, I'm a telly addict!

I'm a man in great pain
The box is on the blink again
I don't need no morphine
I need a television screen

Documentaries, there's no degrees
I'll even watch a film if it's in Chinese
A speech from the Queen, though I'm not very keen
I'll watch it, watch it, watch it

I'm a telly, I'm a telly, telly I'm addicted
Telly, I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted
I'm a telly, I'm a telly, telly I'm addicted
Telly, I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted

I'm a telly, I'm a telly, telly I'm addicted
Telly, I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted
I'm a telly, I'm a telly, telly I'm addicted
I'll watch it, watch it, watch it
Cause I'm addicted

The Toy Dolls - When You're Jimmy Savile

Jimmy lives his life for charity
Jimmy's got no wife just an O.B.E.
Everybody depends on Jimmy
Jimmy's getting a little cheesed off
Jimmy reckons they've all enough
If they want Jim it's tough

Coz when you're Jimmy Saville (Woooooo)
Everybody thinks yer brill (Think yer brill)
But Jim'll fix it's to be done (Woooooo)
Then that bleedin' Great North Run (The Great North Run)
No it's never too much fun for James

Jimmy does get up at 4:30
But Jimmy does not get time for breaky
He's not complaining, Jimmy's training
Somebody's sponsoring Jim again
So Jimmy bites his tongue and counts to ten
"Oh stuff this" Jimmy snarles

Coz when you're Jimmy Saville (Woooooo)
Everybody thinks yer brill (Think yer brill)
But Jim'll fix it's to be done (Woooooo)
Then that bleedin' Great North Run (The Great North Run)
No it's never too much fun for James

There's no time off, Jimmy's in deep
For James there ain't no sleep

Coz when you're Jimmy Saville (Woooooo)
Everybody thinks yer brill (Think yer brill)
But Jim'll fix it's to be done (Woooooo)
Then that bleedin' Great North Run (The Great North Run)
No it's never too much fun for James

Jimmy Saville
Oo oo Jimmy Saville
Jimmy Saville
Jimmy Saville

Howza 'bout that then guys and gals

Toy Dolls - Melancholy Margaret

Nobby was a soldier, a life in the Army
Margarets back home alone waiting suspiciously
She can't hide the misery, the upset & despair
When she found out Nobby had been having it off elsewhere

There's Eric & there's Robby & there's Derrick & there's Bobby
They gave her the elbow
There's Harry & there's Willy & there's Barry & there's Billy also

Whose that then?

Woe is me, I'm melancholy Margaret, I fret coz they leave me
God help me I'm melancholy. Snurree?!

Tommy was a driver he worked on the buses
"I've got some overtime to do" this is what he says
But Margaret wasn't having it, she searched high & low
But Tommy's gone he's neckin' on in the back of the bus depot

There's Ronnie & there's Kenny & there's Donny & there's Denny
they gave her the elbow.
There's Ronnie & there's Timmy & there's Micky & there's Jimmy also

Whose that then?

Woe is me, I'm melancholy Margaret, I fret coz they leave me
God help me I'm melancholy. Snurree?!

Woe is me...
Woe is me...

Toy Dolls - My Wife's a Psychopath

I couldn't wait for my blind date, I did not sleep that night
Could I catch the perfect match, would she be mrs. Right!?
A quiet lass so middle class, dignified, meek & mild?
I faced the wrath of a psychopath & a woman that went wild

Before too long it all went wrong, she weren’t the one for me
But I was trapped when I got slapped by a raving loony
She got mean, she caused a scene, I said "you're not my type"
But I gave in, how could I win? As she threw another swipe...Ferociously

My wife's a psychopath. Throws a fit then she hides in the bathroom
My wife's a psychopath aooeee
My wife's a psychopath. Always on the warpath
After me, mentally deranged!

I'm black & blue, I said "we're through" I'm cuts n' scrapes n' scars
She clenched her fist, I ducked, she missed, so I kicked her up the arse!
She yelled & squealed as I revealed I had learnt some self defense
I smashed her face in, just incase, coz I hate violence...It's not for me

My wife's an psychopath...

Psycho...Psycho...She's a bleedin' psycho...

Fade